Written by Nick Person
So it’s not about me…
I have had the privilege of being married for almost ten years. To be honest with you it is hard for me to believe that I have almost been married for a decade. Where does the time go? I have learned a lot about myself, the Lord, and being selfless through my marriage. I have also learned countless other lessons through my marriage as well. There are times that I will come home and it seems as if I have done something to offend or bother my wife. Then I immediately go into detective mode. I try to get to the bottom of what has gone wrong, because I am a dude, meaning I want to solve the problem so that my wife will no longer be offended. After numerous questions and really shabby detective word, it will finally come to a head and my wife will tell me, “Nick, this has nothing to do with you, you didn’t do anything, I am just in a mood, but it will pass, I promise.” There would be many times that she would tell me something similar to that and I would have a hard time believing her, because in my head that did not make any sense. But after many years, I have learned to believe her, I have realized that sometimes in really is not about me. There is nothing I did or didn’t do; it’s just where she is.
What is funny about this not being about me, it made me realize that I think very highly of myself. I think that I am way more important than I actually am. Don’t worry, I am not trying to be falsely humble, I am not expecting some compliments. But in a lot of things, it is not about me. This has really come to light with my relationship with the Lord. See somehow in my brain, I have made the goodness of the Lord all about me. Depending on how obedient I have
been or not been dictates how good or not good the Lord will be in my life. I have made the grace of God contingent on my behavior or how well or not well I have done to make much of the Lord. I have somehow dwindled the mercy of our Savior to be hinged on how good Nick is. May I tell you something, a lot of the time, I am not that good, but the Lord still is. I am beginning to understand that the goodness of God is not based on me, but it is based on Him. The Lord is good and his grace is bigger and more awesome than I give it credit for being. I have to realize that while yet I was still a sinner, the Lord surrendered his life for me. Not based on what I did for him, but based on the fact that He loves me and he offered himself as a ransom for me. The longer I walk with the Lord, sometimes it is hard for me to realize that the grace of God is not about me or based on me. I think it is said well in Colossians 1:19-23:
19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. 21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.
What I love about this passage is the fact that Jesus made a step towards me before I was ever willing to make a step towards Him. That his grace, love, and pursuit is not about me, but about Him. I am just called to respond to that audacious love with my life. That is why I live differently, because I am responding to the love of a good, good Father. So when I mess up and I don’t measure up, I am covered in the grace of the Lord. May I get up and run this race well based on the goodness of my Savior and remember that I am not able to run because of me, but because of what He did on a cross. So run well friend and remember it is not about us and rejoice in the truth that it is based on Him.
A follower of Jesus still in process…